THE FALSE COMMANDMENTS (Of People Pleasing)
THOU SHALT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE
THOU SHALT HAVE NO NEEDS
THY NEEDS ARE LESS IMPORTANT THAN OTHERS’ NEEDS
THOU SHALT NOT RECEIVE ANYTHING BEFORE SERVING OTHERS
THOU SHALT NOT BE ANGRY (SAD, CONFUSED ETC.)
THOU SHALT NOT SAY “NO”
THOU SHALT COMPLY BECAUSE OF FEAR/GUILT/SHAME
THOU SHALT PRETEND TO BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME
THOU SHALT LIVE BY REACTING TO OTHERS’ NEEDS, NOT PROACTIVELY BY THY OWN GOALS AND VALUES
THOU SHALT MAKE EXCUSES FOR OTHERS
THOU SHALT EQUATE FUSION/MERGER WITH INTIMACY
THOU SHALT FORGIVE QUICKLY
Take some time to ask yourself:
“Have I internalized any of these false commandments?”
“How has this influenced my relational habits, expectations, and behaviours?”
“Is there an underlying fear or desire connected to this belief?”
“How did this manner of relating serve me in my formative relationships?”
“Is it serving me still?”
“Is there a more balanced perspective worth integrating?”
(Adapted from a lecture by Dr. O’Donnell Day)
